Eh, they were going to get around to completing the destruction renovation of this house, but fug it - let the new owner worry about it. Just take the picture and get this pesky sale over with.
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What the hell is that on this living room's wall, above the giant TV set? Is that a flattened goose carcass?
WHY?!?
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Once upon a time, this suburban Illinois house's decor was en vogue. Crockett and Hubbs were fighting crime, glass block everywhere was de rigueur, and every hep cat had a swinging pad (oops, went back too far with that one).
This house's headline should read "Custom-Designed House Is Stuck In Past". Get a load of that bathroom. I wonder how much champagne bubble bath has been put to use in that Jacuzzi?
Well if you can't be in Miami, might as well bring Miami to your potty.
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Our first fug estate features a fug kitchen. OK, not a fug kitchen overall: the cabinets are nice, the countertops are granite, and the place appears to be in great condition, but this post isn't about "Great Conditions", it's about owner-specific fug design in a house on the market.
What is with that green and white backsplash? Shudders! To quote Regis Philbin, "My eyes, my pretty little eyes!" And the Greco-Roman sconce-y things under the breakfast bar are over the top.
With glam like this, I'm disappointed in the K-Mart white barstools. Shouldn't they have scrolls and cherubs on them in keeping with the theme of the breakfast bar?
Welcome to Fug Estate, where we'll post photos of fug houses and fug interior decoration found on real estate websites.
Who knows, maybe someone will fall in love with one of these fug places, buy it and fix it up like they do on those decorating shows.
Of course, everyone can't agree on "fug", and the fug decorator probably doesn't consider his/her design as fug, but really, when selling your house why market a fugged-out personalized nightmare?
This blog is semi-dedicated to (and semi-mocking of) all those "Sell Your Horrid House" shows that order sellers to neutralize, depersonalize and un-decorate their homes in order to appeal to buyers.
With that, here we go!
(Note: this site is not affiliated with Go Fug Yourself and their empire. "Fug" is the People's Word, and I liked the sound of "Fug Estate")
This is my attempt at an "about this blog" post. I'll edit and add to it over time.
Q) How did you get the inspiration for this blog?
A) While house-shopping a few years ago, I found a lot of, shall we say, "interesting-looking" houses on the Internet. I would email the ads to family and friends for gasps and giggles. I still run searches every now and then to stay current on the marketplace. Rather than send links to individual listings, I decided to post the best (i.e. worst) photos in one place, hence this blog.
Q) Is this site affiliated with the Fug celebrity sites?
A) No. This site isn't affiliated with anything but itself.
Q) Why are you picking on these people's houses?
A) I only post photos of homes that are listed online for sale as of when I find them. If someone is happily living with their neon-and-cheetah-print kitchen and wants to remain there, good for them and not my problem. But when it's time to sell, that kitchen's photo posted on the Internet becomes a sales tool, and in my humble opinion, not the best one. Once it's on the market, it's like a celebrity: open for critique.
I understand there may be readers out there who love these places that I dislike, which is fine. Keep on rocking in a free world.
Q) What makes you qualified to criticize these designs? Are you a designer, or a Realtor?
A) I'm no more or less qualified to critique these abodes than the average person. It's just opinion. I am not a designer, nor do I work in real estate, although I find real estate endlessly fascinating and enjoyable. Does watching a lot of HGTV and TLC qualify me for Expert status? Nah, didn't think so. Again, just one person's opinion here. And you know what they say about opinions...
Q) What's wrong with having a distinctive personal style? Not everyone wants to live in a beige, neutral home! That's boring!
A) I chalk it up to "right strategy, right time." Personal style is the right strategy at the time while enjoying and living in your home. However, when selling the right strategy is to get the place sold in the least amount of time possible so you can take the money and run. With that goal in mind, try to make the place appeal to as many potential buyers as possible, i.e. neutral decor, competitive with new construction, move-in ready if you can. So what if that's boring? If the place sells quickly, you won't have to live with it for long.
Let the house be a blank, clean canvas for the buyers to slap their own odd styles onto; don't give them a ready-made "custom" decorated canvas of fug unless your your asking price reflects the extra work needed. Fixing fug costs money, honey.
Q) I have a photo of a fug house for you to post on the site. Can I send it to you?
A) I only post photos of houses listed online for sale. Those people put their homes "out there", whereas your photo of Aunt Judy's kitchen may not have been sent with her consent. I'll pass.
Likewise, don't send me photos of "your own" house asking how fug it is. Not for sale? Not interested. There is a cable TV channel that allows you to have your space rated. Send it to them, and hope for the best.
As far as Fug Estate submissions, you can send me the link to the real estate listing and I'll take a look. The listing must include the photo(s). If you simply send a photo that's not in the online ad, I'm not interested. The photo must be included in the listing. You can send the link to fugdeco *at* aol.com. Yes, AOL. Shut up! I don't use AOL for internets, though. That would be just gauche.
Q) What does your house look like? I bet there's some fug in it!
A) My house isn't on the market so it's out of the equation. But, there probably is some fug in it (that's why I covered up all the mirrors, har har har).
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