Decor by Crayola

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but behold these bright designs and see how your eyes feel afterwards.

Lavender wall, plum wall, and Sea O' Blue carpeting. Is it bad lighting and a photography flaw, or a color-blind decorator? Whatever it is, it needs to be repainted and refloored as soon as the deal closes. This room makes me sad and gloomy. Make it go away!

It's the BRIGHTEST, BLUEST LIVING ROOM EVER!!!!1 Actually, the more I look at it, the less I hate it. I'm starting to like it. Ssshhh, don't tell nobody. Damn mind-controlling color! It probably glows during the dreary days of winter, though. But boy, is it bright. It's like making every wall an accent wall. That said, I need to stop looking at it before I drive to Sherwin Williams with this photo and ask for 5 gallons.

Fresh from the grove is this orange kitchen featuring brown and white cabinetry. The orange itself isn't the worst color I've ever seen in a kitchen, and it's a nice change from the ubiquitous red kitchen, but those cabinets have got to go. The end effect is cheap, cheap, cheap. Even if this kitchen cost $80,000, it looks cheaply done. So there.

I don't usually show home exteriors because it's too "identifying", but this was too good to pass up. I figure that if you paint your house bright red, you want people to notice it so I'm going to help you out. This cedar house is ultra red, ultra trapezoidal and looks like a bunker in which to hide out from reality. You too can live in that house that everyone uses as a navigational aid: "if you pass the ugly red house that looks like half of it sunk under ground, you drove too far."